In general, writing has been easy for me throughout my life. Having written regularly for work and school, I have also published several short reviews of brass recordings for an international musicians’ professional journal. Term papers were never difficult. My master’s thesis took a long time, but the writing was not particularly painful. I have read a fair amount of books, but I also watch far too much television. There were three years when I did not own a television and not-so-shockingly, my days were more productive. Yup–I was one of THOSE guys: “I haven’t had a television in ____ years!”
Love Hate Relationship With Television
When I moved back to New York in 2005, I purchased a television. That’s when tv show “marathons” were becoming popular and that was my downfall. Out with productivity, in with Law and Order! I could pretend to be embarrassed, but come on: The West Wing, every single Law and Order show (Vincent D’Onofrio!), The Sopranos, Criminal Minds, and then the crystal meth of crystal meth shows–-Breaking Bad! It is no exaggeration that I have watched all five seasons of that series three times straight through and another two watching intermittent episodes. I thought about engaging in something worthwhile during these binge-watching phases, but all of a sudden Walter White would say something badass and all hope was lost.
And Then I Wrote
You may be wondering what prompts one to start posting writing blogs. For me, there is no cut and dry reason. The closest answer in my case is that, for several years, writing for fun has been a life goal. One day in January, I just sat down and wrote. For me, what has been more interesting is the feelings that have arisen in these past few months. First there was self-reflection, followed by nostalgia. Then, as a few people started reading my posts, I wanted to share some specific stories. This led to three or four stories with themes. Having received some positive feedback, it appeared that there were some of you out there who enjoyed these writings. It has certainly been fun for me!
Then—the last twenty-four hours happened. This day could have been anticipated from my very first post. People talk about writer’s block and there may have been a bit of that involved. But to be truthful with myself, that is not why there is an incomplete post seeking anonymous shelter in my ‘drafts’ folder. That post is there because I was struggling and anxiety kicked in. Nothing dramatic occurred. No panic attacks or feelings of self-loathing took over my body. My idea seemed strong, but my writing style got a bit gimmicky. That can be easily fixed. Simply put, there was a gradual fear of failure. “Was the premise of the post a good one?” “Is this too personal?” “Should I keep doing this?” “Am I an impostor?” “Why should anyone read my writings?”
The shadow of anxiety had reappeared. After deleting paragraphs, changing titles, adding non-sequiturs, and trying to convince myself that it didn’t matter if the post wasn’t up to par, I did what any self-respecting person would do—I jumped ship. The difference is that this time, because writing has made me feel so many different emotions, I sat down and wrote this post.
Life is filled with setbacks. This was one of them for me. I will finish the post I started, but just not today. Storytelling is the heart of my blog posts. I use the word storytelling in my social media hashtags. I believe in the power of stories. They show our humanity. Maya Angelou wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
A New Writer
Here is the untold story inside me today: This story is about a new writer who has taken many chances in his life. This story is about a new writer who has avoided many opportunities because of fear. This story is about a new writer who struggled. This story is about a new writer who wants to overcome the fear of failure. This story is about a new writer who wants to learn. This story is about a new writer who wants to entertain. This story is about a new writer who wants to inspire. This story is about a new writer who wants to persevere.
This story is about a new writer writing.
In My Unexpected Life: Travel, Food, and More, I will share stories, thoughts, and simple ideas to entertain and maybe even inspire others to engage with new food, travel, and more…no matter how big or small those experiences may be.
Even if my writings do not produce the desired result—please enjoy the blog!